News Roundup 20 June – 3 July – Florence and the Prince

Can someone send me a Killers’ track? I think I need to give them a listen for saving us from having to ponder how much air Pippa’s kitty cat was catching at Westminster Abbey. It was at the band’s show at the Hard Rock Calling on 24 June where Harry, with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in tow, destroyed the hard work of tabloids and bloggers everywhere with the glib proclamation, “Pippa? Ha! No, I am not seeing anyone at the moment. I’m 100 percent single.”

In the chaos which followed, “commando” was forgotten, the temporary excitement of gleeks over Harry doing tequila shots with the cast in the VIP area was only discussed by gleeks (anyone else lol at this, remembering Cory Monteith’s tweet last year about Harry never having heard of the show?), and the fact that a TOWIE got a minute’s flirt in with him at the show as well was kicked into the gutter. All that mattered was that Harry was single! No more Chelsy! No Pippa! In fact who had time for dating? Certainly not an Apache pilot prince! He didn’t even have time for watching tv!

Florence-Brudenell-Bruce

Florence-Brudenell-Bruce

Fast forward four days. OMG PRINCE HARRY’S HOOKING UP WITH A LINGERIE MODEL! Next day. OMG HARRY AND FLO ARE COUSINS. Then, OMG FLO’S IN LOVE WITH HARRY! IT’S SERIOUS! And finally FLO’S GOING TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS FOR SLEEPING WITH HARRY and CHELSY HAAAAATES HER. And there’s your week.

Alright, seriously now, did anyone truly believe Harry has been spending nights alone? I’m surprised it took this long for a nosy neighbor/stalker/Duncan Larcombe’s mole to spy his Audi coming and going from a lovely lass’s flat at odd hours. Single does not mean sleeping solo. While I certainly have no inside track to these people’s private lives I would be very surprised if Flo and Harry were serious. Reports say she’s planning a move to the US in the fall and we know Harry is due to be redeployed next year. Although his loud comment at the concert about being single could’ve been to lead people off of Flo’s path I take him at his word that he doesn’t have time for a relationship. They are both recently out of relationships and have been friends for years… hello benefits. If the overzealous press hasn’t totally put a damper on their fun I imagine it will die down and we won’t hear much more about them in months to come. But at least this gives some heft to the idea that he and Chelsy aren’t together anymore. Falsehoods I smell in all of this: Flo is “in love”; she’s got a purse deal with Burberry off the whole thing; Chelsy’s spitting nails. All three of those headlines are just to grab eyeballs.

Other girls wanting some of Harry’s kool-aid: Rosie Huntington-Whitely of “Transformers” fame who decided to add her name to the list of celebs who want to shag/marry Harry. The stories are making her sound like a nutter but I’m sure the studio execs who crafted her “obsession” are loving all the free press.

Apparantly Canadian monarchists wanted Harry for King (and Wills to live there six months out of the year) but then a spokesman for the group said the story was rubbish. Nobody listened to him. King Harry IX just sounds good.

Harry and child at Wireless Festival

Harry and a lucky little girl at the Wireless Festival

And on 1 July the rocker prince showed up at London’s Wireless festival with cousin Zara to get his groove on with (::shudder::) the Blackeyed Peas. Revelations from the day were that he had just had his wisdom teeth out (at nearly 27!) and that there are smart little girls in Norway. After picking 10 year-old Mia Kristine Armstrong Solli up and placing her on his shoulders to see better, the girl proclaimed she would never wash her trousers again. Good girl.

Oh, also, he played polo in the British Polo Day Charity Cup at Andrew Lloyd Webber’s house on Saturday. Couldn’t be a week without polo.

 

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